Position Breakdown: Wankerbacks

The Wankerback is the player who leads your offense. With the most scoring opportunities of any position in Ultimate Wingnut Fantasy Wankball, good Wankerbacks love having balls in their hands - especially when under pressure. Just as in the real-life Wingnutosphere, this position is so vital to the team effort that UWFW owners are allowed to draft two players to fill it.

Position Rules

Wankerbacks must maintain blogs. All point-scoring plays for Wankerbacks must appear on their blogs; other media appearances (television, radio, op-ed columns, etc.) not reprinted or filed on their blogs do not yield point-scoring opportunities.

Point-Scoring Opportunities

Out-and-Out Lie - 2 points

An Out-and-Out Lie is, obviously, an untruth, of any type, and uncorrected within 24 hours of the truth being pointed out to the Wankerback (to distinguish it from a mistake or even a "mistake").

Roving Eye - 5 points

The Roving Eye play is accomplished when the Wankerback repeats a Bush Administration talking point, within four hours of its original dissemination from the White House, and with only minor, if any, changes or additions to the original.

Eliminationist Linkage (positive, non-blogroll) - 5 points

Eliminationist Linkage is any hyperlink contained within a Wankerback blog post that leads to a blog or other media produced by an official UFWF Eliminationist (see list).

Projection - 10 points

Projection is a documented instance of a Wankerback attributing common wingnut actions or motives to non-wingnuts who have not demonstrated those actions or motives.

Briarpatching - 10 points

Briarpatching describes any recommendation a Wankerback makes regarding Democratic Party strategy or liberalism in general. See: Lieberman, Joe.

NTTAWWT - 10 points

NTTAWWT, or Not That There's Anything Wrong With That, is a scoring play that involves any form of coded hate speech.

Chickenhawking - 20 points

Chickenhawking earns a score for Wankerbacks who have never served in the military (quite possibly, all of them) when they smear a combat veteran with opposing political views as a "coward", "appeaser" or "traitor".

Outing - 20 points

A spectacular Wankerback play, Outing is the spiteful revelation of an anonymous political opponent's personal information.

Blog War Principal - 50 points

When a Wankerback is a Blog War Principal, it simply means he or she has been a primary participant in a Blog War in a given week. Blog War Principal scores are tallied on a per-Blog War basis, not a per-post basis.

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