Position Breakdown: Paid Shills

The Paid Shill is a professional pundit, TV personality or radio host who can score points for your team in a number of ways, all of them despicable. Often practicing a more oblique form of wingnuttery than Eliminationists, Jesus Ladies or even Wankerbacks, the Paid Shill nevertheless can be an integral part of a good UWFW team ... and is the sole maker of the game-breaking Caught Shillin' play.

Position Rules

The Paid Shill must be a media professional. Paid Shills can score points from any form of publicly available media.

Point-Scoring Opportunities

Anec-dope - 5 points

The bread-and-butter play of the Paid Shill is the Anec-dope, in which limited and unverifiable anecdotal evidence is presented as "proof" for a questionable argument.

Hissy Fit - 15 points

With the Hissy Fit, the Paid Shill expresses outrage that hardball political tactics exclusively reserved for wingnuts against non-wingnuts are being used by non-wingnuts against wingnuts.

Eliminationism Lite - 15 points

Eliminationism Lite refers to the veiled threats, undemocratic principles, delight in violent solutions and the like, that Paid Shills often express in slightly more palatable - but far more insidious - form than true Eliminationists.

Undisclosure - 25 points

Undisclosure is a play in which the Paid Shill fails to note any conflicts of interest (typically monetary) he or she might have regarding the subject matter of his or her column, TV segment or radio program.

Caught Shillin' - 150 points

Caught Shillin' is the single-most powerful scoring play in Ultimate Wingnut Fantasy Wankball. This play occurs when a Paid Shill is caught penning "objective" opinions while in the pay of a party with a vested interest in airing that opinion. See Williams, Armstrong for a recent example of this powerhouse play. NOTE: Caught Shillin' is a gamebreaking play in UWFW; in fact, achieving one at the right time can turn a team's entire season around. Arbiters are advised to look at all Caught Shillin' claims by team owners with extra scrutiny.

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