THE BASICS: Like fantasy football or baseball, Ultimate Wingnut Fantasy Wankball (UWFW) is a point-scoring game in which participants, or 'owners', select a team of players which competes against other owners' teams over the course of a season.
Welcome to the Home of UWFW!
You've followed their careers. You've marveled at the heights of their sophistry and cringed at the depths of their rancor. You've experienced by proxy the ecstasy of 9-11 and Abu Ghraib ... and the agony of the Harriet Meiers nomination and Social Security rollback. They are in the blogosphere, on the airwaves and at the very front lines of the battle for the soul of Western Civilization.
They are wingnuts and this is their time in the sun.
UWFW ... it's waaaaaanktastic!!!!!!1!
QUICK TIPS & LINKS
* A Player Draft for leagues will be held on Sept. XX, 2006
* The 2006 season will run from Sept. XX-Nov. 11 - a XX-week season
* For weekly updated standings and discussion, visit the UWFW blog
* For complete UWFW Rules & Guidelines, go here.
* For an exhaustive Draft Guide to UWFW-sanctioned wingnuts, go here.
As a fan, you have your favorite wingnuts - for some, it's Pastor Swank and Michelle Malkin ... for others, Peggy Noonan and Glenn Reynolds. And undoubtedly, like so many of us, you've found yourself in debates at the water cooler or the neighborhood bar, arguing the demerits of an Assrocket vs. a Misha, wishing desperately that there were some means or method to finally settle the question: "Who is the greatest wanker of them all?"
Welcome to the solution.
Welcome to the very first fantasy game that allows you to draft, trade and nurture your very own team of wingnut all-stars in direct competition with other team owners, for disappointing season-ending prizes and hours upon hours of soul-destroying procrastination.
Ultimate Wingnut Fantasy Wankball is a scientifically proven system of time-wasting frivolity based upon the only fully integrated and heuristically means-tested binary architecture of player-generated wingnut statistical profiles, or as we have dubbed this new school in the field of cobagenomic probability studies: "wankmetrics".
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DISCLAIMER: Players participating in UWFW do so at their own risk; the UWFW Board of Governors accepts no legal responsibility for work shirkage, malingering, spontaneous chortling, eye-strain, vomiting, cock-slapping, appeasing, treason, fifth columnism, carpal tunnel syndrome, palsy, dropsy, vapors, intemperance, troop-hurting, pwnage, ROTFLMAO Fatigue, BWAHAHA-Reynolds Syndrome, senility or any other medical condition that may arise from playing Ultimate Wingnut Fantasy Wankball. Consult your physician before playing.
SWAG!
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YOSHIDA TIME BOMB COUNTER
It has been exactly ...
... since Adam Yoshida last demanded millions of people be nuked or otherwise exterminated
